Q&A: The Pentium FDIV Bug

Q: How many Pentium designers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: 1.99904274017, but that's close enough for non-technical people.
Q: What do you get when you cross a Pentium PC with a research grant?
A: A mad scientist.
Q: What's another name for the "Intel Inside" sticker they put on Pentiums?
A: The warning label.
Q: What do you call a series of FDIV instructions on a Pentium?
A1: Successive approximations.
A2: A random number generator.
A3: Or a really expensive space heater.
Q: Complete the following word analogy: Add is to Subtract as Multiply is to:

  1. Divide
  2. ROUND
  3. RANDOM
  4. On a Pentium, all of the above
A: Number 4.
Q: What algorithm did Intel use in the Pentium's floating point divider?
A: "Life is like a box of chocolates." (Source: F. Gump of Intel)
Q: Why didn't Intel call the Pentium the 586?
A: Because they added 486 and 100 on the first Pentium and got 585.999983605.
Q: According to Intel, the Pentium conforms to the IEEE standards 754 and 854 for floating point arithmetic. If you fly in aircraft designed using a Pentium, what is the correct pronunciation of "IEEE"?
A: Aaaaaaaiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeee!
Q: How do you share 50 Pentiums amongst 50 users?
A: You can't.
or
A: Throw one Pentium away, and then give one to each user.
Q: What new instruction are Intel working on?
A: BDV - Branch Davidian.
Q: What is Intel's follow-on to the Pentium?
A: Repentium.
Q: What does the element Pentium decay into?
A: Inert silicon with the emission of a press release.
Q: What's the difference between an Intel Pentium and a Ford Pinto?
A: None, really: the flaw and the company's attitude about it really burn you.
Q: What's the difference between a Thalidomide pill and a Pentium chip?
A: One causes deformities on the outside, and the other is deformed on the inside.
Q: How do you use a Pentium machine so that you get correct calculations?
A: Steady your hands against it so you are not shaking your slide ruler.
Q: What's the difference between Intel's executives and Richard Nixon?
A: Even Nixon had ethics once in a while.
You are at a remote research station. If you had a choice between a bag full of Pentium chips and a bag full of nacho chips, which would you choose?

The nacho chips. Both bags will give you heartburn, but at least the nachos would help you survive.

You have heartburn because of your Pentium microcomputer. How do you spell relief?

P - o - w ... e - r - P - c....

Top Ten New INTEL Slogans For The Pentium

  
  9.9999973251   It's a FLAW, Dammit, not a Bug
  8.9999163362   It's Close Enough, We Say So
  7.9999414610   Nearly 300 Correct Opcodes
  6.9999831538   You Don't Need to Know What's Inside
  5.9999835137   Redefining the PC -- and Mathematics As Well
  4.9999999021   We Fixed It, Really
  3.9998245917   Division Considered Harmful
  2.9991523619   Why Do You Think They Call It *Floating* Point?
  1.9999103517   We're Looking for a Few Good Flaws
  0.9999999998   The Errata Inside

The top ten reasons to buy a Pentium machine

10. Your current computer is too accurate
 9.  You want to get into the GUINNESS BOOK as
    "Owner of most expensive paperweight"
 8.  Math errors add zest to life
 7.  You need an alibi for the I.R.S.
 6.  You want to see what all the fuss is about
 5.  You've always wondered what it would be like to be a plaintiff
 4.  The "INTEL INSIDE" logo matches your decor perfectly
 3.  You no longer have to worry about CPU overheating
 2.  You got a great deal from JPL
 1.  It'll probably work

No Pentium jokes please!

I have a 100 MHz Pentium based computer and would like to point out that - despite of recent negative reports - this machine is highly rel!##@$%%%&&^\^^^ \\#**++~^^@@#$$%%\\\